Understanding Stalking and How to Get Help: When Attention Becomes Obsession

When Attention Becomes Obsession: Understanding Stalking and How to Get Help

Stalking is a serious crime that can have a devastating impact on a person’s life, but it’s often misunderstood, overlooked, or dismissed. As part of National Stalking Awareness Week, we’re shining a light on the warning signs, how to seek help, and why it’s so important to speak out.

April 21st–25th marks National Stalking Awareness Week, a time dedicated to raising awareness of the impact stalking can have and encouraging victims to come forward. It’s also a moment for all of us, such as our friends, family, colleagues, employers, and communities, to be vigilant and supportive of those who may be suffering in silence.

In the Humber region alone, 49 Stalking Protection Orders (SPOs) are currently in place, with more in the process of being applied for. These orders are a legal safeguard designed to prevent known stalkers from contacting, approaching, or intimidating victims.

As Chief Inspector Nicola Roworth, Stalking Lead at Humberside Police, explains:

“Stalking offences cannot ever be downplayed. They are insidious, personal, and often life-changing for victims. These crimes require a robust policing response, especially when connected to domestic abuse. Research shows that perpetrators with a history of stalking and violence are 50% more likely to go on to commit serious harm, or even murder.”

What is stalking?

Stalking is defined as fixated, obsessive, and repeated unwanted behaviour that causes a person to feel fear, alarm, or distress. Unlike one-off incidents of abuse or confrontation, stalking is about patterns of behaviour, it’s about control, intrusion, and the deliberate erosion of a person’s sense of safety.

Stalking can be:

• Physical: following someone, loitering near their home, workplace, or regular spots
• Digital: sending persistent unwanted messages or emails, monitoring online activity, hacking social media accounts
• Indirect: contacting friends or family to get information, spreading false rumours, sending unwanted gifts or deliveries
• Sinister: ordering items in someone’s name, impersonating them online, or reporting them falsely to authorities

Often, stalkers know their victims. In many cases, stalking is linked to domestic abuse or relationships that have ended. It can also happen with acquaintances, colleagues, or even strangers.

key signs you might be experiencing stalking

It’s not always obvious when unwanted attention crosses the line. Stalking doesn’t always look like what we see in TV dramas or films. Sometimes, it’s subtle and slow-building.

You may be experiencing stalking if:

• You’re being followed or watched
• You receive unwanted gifts, phone calls, or social media messages
• The person keeps “bumping into you” unexpectedly
• You’re getting threatening messages or voicemails
• Someone is tracking your movements or activities
• You find false complaints made against you
• Someone is repeatedly showing up online in your spaces or tagging you

If the behaviour has happened two times or more and it’s making you feel distressed, scared, or unsafe, that’s enough to report it. Trust your instincts — if it feels wrong, it probably is.

the emotional impact of stalking

Stalking is not just an inconvenience, it is a deeply traumatic experience that can impact every aspect of a person’s life. Many victims:

• Suffer from anxiety, depression, and PTSD
• Feel constantly on edge, unsafe, or paranoid
• Need to change their daily routines
• Feel forced to move house, quit jobs, or avoid public places
• Lose sleep or relationships due to stress

Even seemingly “low-level” contact, such as messages or small gifts, can become overwhelming when it’s persistent and unwanted. Victims are not being “overly sensitive”; they are responding to repeated violations of their personal space, safety, and peace of mind.

stalking and the law

Both stalking and harassment are crimes under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997.

• Harassment typically includes verbal abuse, threats, or antisocial behaviour like shouting, swearing, or damage to property.
• Stalking involves obsession, fixated behaviour, or unwanted attention, especially where there’s a personal connection.

Both become criminal offences if the behaviour has happened twice or more and has made the victim feel frightened or threatened.

online stalking & digital abuse

In today’s digital age, stalking has evolved beyond physical presence. Online stalking or “cyberstalking” is now common, and just as harmful.

It may include:

• Monitoring your online activity or location
• Gaining access to your personal accounts
• Sending abusive messages or inappropriate images
• Impersonating you or signing you up for services
• Installing tracking software on your devices

If any of this has happened to you, you can report it. Police forces across the UK are trained to respond seriously to online harassment.

what to do if you are being stalked

If you’re experiencing stalking or harassment, you don’t need to face it alone. You can:

• Report to the police — Call 999 if it’s urgent, or 101 for non-emergencies
• Keep a log of incidents, dates, messages, and sightings
• Tell someone you trust — a friend, neighbour, colleague, or support service
• Don’t engage with the stalker — keep your distance and avoid replying
• Secure your devices and accounts — change passwords and review privacy settings
• Carry a personal alarm or use safety apps
• Seek support from charities like the National Stalking Helpline (0808 802 0300)

help for friends, colleagues, and witnesses

You don’t have to be the direct victim to report concerns. If you’ve noticed someone being followed, harassed, or made uncomfortable at work, school, or in your community, speak up. Your voice could make a huge difference.

You can also:

• Offer to accompany someone to report incidents
• Help them keep a record or witness log
• Let them use your contact address if they need to avoid giving out their own

ending the silence

Stalking is not something we should downplay, or keep quiet about. Victims deserve to feel safe, supported, and believed. Safeguarding starts with awareness — and action.

Let’s use National Stalking Awareness Week to talk openly, challenge myths, and make sure victims know: You are not alone.

need support or want to report?

• In an emergency – Call 999
• Non-emergency – Call 101 or report online via police.uk
• Anonymous support – Crimestoppers: 0800 555 111
• National Stalking Helpline – 0808 802 0300
• Victim Support – 0808 168 9111
• Paladin National Stalking Advocacy Service – paladinservice.co.uk

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